T. V channels:
Maths teacher asks a boy what are 2,4,10,17.
The boy replies they are HBO, ZOOM, SONY and POGO.
God is Watching:
The children were lined up in the canteen of a school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
“Take only ONE. God is watching.”
Moving further along the line,at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note:
“Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”
Bhola: Itne kum marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine oos master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
TEACHER: Jiya, go to the map and find North America .
JIYA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
Multiplication without tables;
TEACHER: VIJAY, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
VIJAY: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Ricky, what is the chemical formula for water?
RICKY: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
RICKY: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
The axe effect:
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand….
TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Nahid , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s.. Did you copy his?
NAHID : No, sir. It’s the same dog.
TEACHER: Tannu, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
TANNU: A teacher